Exposing your darkness starts with cleaning your closet. So…cleaning your closet can be a big, scary job for most. And we all need to do it and we all put it off. But this is another type of cleaning a closet…more like dragging out the baggage of things you have shoved into a dark corner and just stuffed away to take care of another day. I almost titled this post Exposing Your Secrets, but I did not want to scare you. It is really about exposing your darkness to the light.
Why Exposing Your Darkness Brings Healing
When something is kept in secret, it gives that thing power to fester and grow and creates darkness. It also prevents healing from taking place. The law of nature is that when you expose darkness, and bring it into the light, at least half the battle is won! Exposing the secrecy takes the power away. This is a huge part in facilitating healing. They say true healing is when you can look back at the dark times in your life and simply see them as an experience with no emotion attached. There is no more pain, no more hurt and no crying when retelling of your experience. The healing is complete.
If you choose to keep things in secret, the past will always resurface. It will keep coming back up and try to have you face it and make it right. One way this happens is our darkness will show up in others around us to help bring it out and help us face it. Every secret at some point will be exposed. The longer it festers the bigger the explosion will be. As our darkness is exposed to the light, it slowly but surely changes that darkness into a blessing, and a strength for us to help others.
Secrets and Lies Ruin Lives
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our darkness is something that unifies us and drives out judgment of those around us. We all have our yin to our yang. When you see yours for what it is, you stop looking down on everyone else for theirs. It brings in humility and stops our prideful thinking that we are better than everyone else. Exposing the secrets or owning our darkness then lets the change begin. The sooner you learn this lesson, the sooner you can start to see the silver lining in the dark storm clouds of your life.
“Our darkest, most shameful secrets are actually our most glorious jewels on the soul. You see, when you are in your greatest pain, you give someone else the gift of being able to express love to you by allowing them to help you to heal. Then, when you do heal, you come away with great compassion for all others who have pain. Then these “others” give you the gift of allowing you to help them with their pain. This thing – this helping of each other – this flows from compassion. If we each see the darkness within ourselves with clear and open eyes, then we find compassion for the route to oneness. It is the healing of that which is fragmented.” – Zingdad
Every dark cloud has a silver lining. Recognizing the dark cloud and seeing it for what it is, is the first step. How to see the silver lining is a whole other post. Another famous way of saying it is: recognize the lemons in your life first, and then you can make the lemonade.
How to Start Exposing Your Darkness
An excerpt from Ram Dass; To be free you can not push anything in the universe away. Being free includes the highs and the lows. You can not get stuck in the “This is all good, except that” mentality. You have to go through the journey of incorporating the darkness into your light and become one within yourself.
He who knows not that the prince of darkness is the other face of the king of light, knows not me. Says God” -Manly P Hall
You do not have to tell the whole world everything all at once. Start small and start safe. Here are a few ways to begin:
- Write it down. Journaling is a private way to bring things into the light and see them clearly. Research on expressive writing shows that writing about hard experiences can actually help us heal.
- Tell one trusted person. A spouse, a close friend, a counselor or a spiritual leader you trust.
- Pray or meditate on it. Ask for help to see it for what it is, without shame.
- Forgive yourself. Owning your darkness is not about beating yourself up. It is about setting yourself free.
If what you have been holding in feels too heavy to carry alone, please reach out to a counselor or therapist. That is one of the bravest ways to bring something into the light. For more on this, read my posts on why you cannot escape your darkness, forgiveness, and how to release stored emotions.
