Let’s have a moment of honesty. I have a confession to make… this is one of my “triggers”. A trigger by my definition is something that “sets me off”. It gets to me be reactive and not be able to simply respond. It takes me out of my peace, I have talked about in the post Shifting into Peace.
This did not become a trigger for me until I gained an “awareness” of what was actually going on. Now it is full blown LOL. Here is my confession: It sets me off when I see men not taking responsibility, and laying the blame at the feet of women.
Let me explain a bit further…
This is a “programming” that has been put in place since the beginning of time, and I am calling it out, it’s bullshit. I will use Adam and Eve as an example. Eve throughout history has been blamed for the fall of poor Adam. It was Eve- the woman who made them get kicked out of the garden, who brought curses upon the children of men. Yes, Eve made her choice but let me ask you…
Did Adam not make his own choice?
Did Eve force Adam to partake of the fruit as well? That is not the story I remember. As I remember Eve made her choice and then came to Adam and gave her thoughts and reasons. Then said… because I have made this choice, I am going to have to leave. Then Adam was free to make his own choice based off of the information. He did not have to leave with Eve. I am sure another plan would have been put in motion. It is shown they both made their own choice by each receiving separate consequences. Eve for hers, Adam for his, but the world did not take it this way. Women from the time of Eve have been seen as “less than” and the downfall, when it is exactly the opposite. Check out this article for more understanding: God’s Hidden Tribute to Mother Eve.
The programing began from taking the responsibility off of men, and laying the blame at the feet of women. I can not explain how much I see this scenario play out everywhere. It is crazy at how much it happens, and like I said, I did not realize it until I became aware of what was actually happening. I am not a “feminist” and this is not a “hate men” post. Quite the opposite, I believe male and female are equals. They should be in Unity in all things, like in my post The Divine Feminine.
Another example of blaming women:
Here is another example I see all over in our modern day. Women and their dress, or modesty. It is taught that we must dress a certain way so that we do not put dirty thoughts into the minds of men. How I dress, what I say, how I handle myself is to prevent the men from being perverts and sickos? Wait… so women are responsible for keeping mens thoughts clean? I thought that was a personal matter. Yes, it is true that people judge us based off of our appearance. How we dress affects how men treat us and think about us, BUT is it my fault if he has a dirty thought?
Here is where it really goes wrong
When a women is sexually abused and she is told it is her fault because…. of the way she dressed, how she was dancing, where she was choosing to hang out..bla bla bla. Then men get away with what they did and no one makes them take responsibility for their actions, their emotions, and their thoughts. If this was really an issue of the way women dress, then if all women were to dress from head to toe in a black dress and show nothing but their eyes, would rape would disappear? Sexual abuse, dirty thoughts from men, inappropriate talk, pictures and touching would all be non existent? That is not the case, the women that do dress this way and “modest” still get raped. Clearly, this is not the issue.
So what is the real issue?
Men are getting away with too much, they are getting a “pass” on their accountability. The blame is getting laid at the feet of women and we have been taking responsibility for them. Men must take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. No matter how a women dresses, what she says, what you think she is “inviting”, the men still have a CHOICE to partake or not- just as Adam did. They have a choice to take advantage or not. Men have a choice to think a thought or not. They have a choice to indulge in their desires and thoughts, or not. Look at the dirty picture or not. Even in a scenario where the woman is asking for it and giving a verbal consent men still have a choice!
Lets be on a the same page about this, consent should not be having to say “NO”. Consent should be a verbal YES, like: A high 5 and a “hell yes”. Men, you do not get the green light because she did not say “no”. Women, we need to speak up and be firm.
- There is a case where a woman was in a dance club, it was shown and caught on tape of a group of men forcing her aside and each taking their turn with her. It was brought to court and the judge ruled against her, saying it was her fault for being there.
- Dozens of situations like this are brought up all the time about sexual abuse and assault and people (even women) stand by and judge the abused- saying “it is her fault for the way she dressed”, or how she talked and handled herself. What about the men people?! So you are saying he has no choice at all? He did not choose to take advantage of that?
- If a partner accepts a lie innocently and then passes the lie along, and others make a choice based off of that lie, who is at fault? Does all the fault fall on one person? Or is everyone responsible for their own actions based off of their beliefs? Each person is accountable for what they choose to believe. This happens in religion all…the…time.
- A wife blamed for the pornography addiction and cheating of her husband, being told she did not give him enough sex. If he is looking else where, it must be her fault. Or better yet… to fix it, she just needs to give him more sex. These are all real situations happening ALL OF THE TIME.
Does this not sound crazy to anyone else?
I for one, am not taking part in this any longer. I will not take the responsibility for men’s thoughts and actions based off of the desires of their hearts. It is going to be put right back on them. We are all responsible for the desires of our own heart. This programming has been going on too long, and I will no longer take that responsibility upon my shoulders. I will take ownership for my own choices, learn my own lessons, but I will no longer accept the blame for men and their thoughts, desires and actions.
The only way to break the programming, is for women to stop accepting the blame for men and start putting the accountability where it belongs.
Problem is that it is not just men putting blame on women. Women are also participating in this, they are letting the blame get put on their sisters because they themselves are not aware of what is happening. It has been a program running for a very very long time. We must stop letting the men off the hook, and stand up for each other as well. It takes a shift in our paradigm and how we see the situations. Stop letting the blame get put on women, starting with Eve. #freeeve
Can you tell this one is a trigger for me? Ya…. I am working on it 🙂