Agency is defined as: the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power. It is our state of acting and making choices for ourselves. The freedom of choice is a responsibility that we have been given to make choices for ourselves and our life. Everyone has been given this power and we are each free to make our choices with no one to stop us. There is a power in agency, a power to be used for ourselves but also a power we can use over others or take from others.
What does it look and feel like to have your agency violated?
We are constantly violating each others agency every single day. This is something that is so basic, so simple, and done so much that it seems harmless and so we do not even recognize it. But it can all easily blow up in your face when it is violated. First let’s go over what it might look like and give some examples.
What does violating someones agency look like?
I am going to give you some scenarios of what it might look like in everyday life. If you ask some one a question and they exercise their agency to give you and answer, it should be done there. But most of us take it further and push by asking the same question 10 times, until the person relents and gives you the answer you want. Usually they give in simply to get you to shut up.
For some people they push on purpose to try to get you to change your mind, they use logic and reason to get you to agree with them. Others simply keep asking, like a parrot, to wear you down and others just do not know they are doing it and have no ill intentions in their heart at all. This is why it is important for us to be more aware of it. So that if someone with ill intentions is violating your agency, you will be able to see though it.
Here is an example of what a harmless violation of agency might look like:
“Are you hungry? Would you like some of my salad?”
“Thanks but no I am not hungry.”
“Are you sure? I can not eat all of this and I am full. There is plenty.”
“No, I just ate but thank you”
“OK, well I just do not want it to go to waste, it is very good. Just try a bite?!”
Finally they relent, because you are asking over and over. Not listening to them at all, not listening to what they want or desire in any form. They gave you an answer and you are not listening! Do you see how we all do this everyday?
Now let’s go over how it feels when your agency is violated.
What does my agency being violated feel like?
It is very exhausting having your agency violated over and over. Think of a time when someone asked you the same question over and over even though you had given them an answer. Having to give someone the same answer again and again leaves you confused. Are they not hearing you? Do they not care? It wears you down until you finally do not want to fight it anymore and give in. After you give in, this then leaves you hating yourself because you did not respect yourself enough to stand up for what you wanted. But also you feel demeaned by others who do not listen to you, disrespected and less than them.
It does not feel goo to be manipulated into doing something someone else wants. Especially when you have told them what you want or do not want. We usually violate one another’s agency because we think we know what is best for that person. It comes from a root of pridefulness. We are trying to accomplish an outcome WE want. You wear them down until you get the answer or outcome you want.
It is done so easily everyday by all of us.
Even though these two examples are ones that do not have ill intentions, this one used their logic and reason to convince you to change your mind. Now as I said before, this is important to see in our life so that if someone does had ill intentions you can see through it. Because if this happens to you, if your agency is violated from someone meant to do you harm, a negative out come will follow. This ill intension can even come from their subconscious, where they are not yet aware of it.
Violating Agency can bring a negative outcome, even with something that is good
When we violate another’s agency, negative outcomes will follow. These outcomes can show up in many different ways, like ruining relationships, or people not wanting to be around you. Even if you are trying to do something good for another it can turn on you if you violate their agency. This is one of the ways something of “good or light” can then have a negative outcome.
Let me give you an example of this:
You are having some trials in life and having a difficult time and some friends know about it. They ask you if they could bless you and pray for you. For your reasons you say: “no thank you I am not in the mental space to have that right now” (or whatever the reason, and you do not even need to share it with them.)
Out of concern and the goodness of their heart they say: “Oh are you sure? I want to help you, I would really love to give you a blessing and help in any way I can.” VIOLATION 1 (you already gave your answer, right?)
You answer with: “I do not think it is the right time right now, but thank you”
They respond with: “Ok I just thought it would help and wanted to bless you, we are here for you and really want to do this for you” VIOLATION 2
In your mind you think… “well they are not going to drop it. What harm can it do… the more the better, right?” So you relent and let them pray for you. Right after from that blessing you feel a sharp pain in your back and start to get very hot and faint, and the pain stays for months.
So what went wrong?
Your agency was violated. Your wants and desires were not listened to and you were not given the respect of making your choice. This then opens a way through the blessing (or anything of light) to be susceptible to darkness coming in because this simple law was violated. They may have had dark intentions on their heart or things on them that then got passed to you because the whole blessing was placed under a dark government and it had power over that blessing.
Agency is so simple, no means no. Hopefully now we will recognize how much our agency is violated everyday and how much we do this to others. It is not giving respect to them as human beings. Start listening to others answers and respect them. The war that was started over our agency is not yet over, this law is eternal and so important. But it can be masked down here and seem so harmless, yet have such huge consequences.