“True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment.” – David Ridge
I recently had a lesson in forgiveness that shifted my whole perspective. It is a lesson that, when you apply it, makes forgiving so much easier in the future.
Deciding Ahead of Time
Let me explain. Did anyone ever tell you when you were young to make a choice right then about something you would face in the future?
Here is an example. In grade school, the D.A.R.E. program taught kids about drugs. They wanted us to decide right then, as kids, not to do them. The point was to make the choice NOW, so that if we were faced with it later, the choice would be EASIER, because we had already decided our answer long ago.
I realized this same principle can be applied to forgiveness.
Forgiveness Is NOW
If we choose right now to forgive the past, and more importantly, anything that could happen in the FUTURE, then when something does happen it is so much easier to get over it. We have already chosen to forgive, let go and move on. The hard part is done before the hurt ever comes.
This is what it means for forgiveness to be an attitude instead of an action after the fact. We walk into every moment already holding forgiveness in our hearts.
3 Steps to Practice Forgiveness Now
1. Forgive Yourself First
The first and most important person to apply this to is you. Choose to forgive yourself.
Our poor choices are what taught us the lessons that made us better people and who we are today. The mistakes of our past are part of us. Instead of beating yourself up over them, thank them for what they taught you, and then let them go. You are not your mistakes. Forgiving yourself is the first step to loving and accepting yourself.
2. Forgive the People Closest to You
Next, apply forgiveness right now to a spouse, parents and siblings. These are the people who see us at our best and our worst, and they have the most chances to hurt us. Choose right now to forgive them for anything that might come in the future. That way, when it comes, the decision to forgive has already been made.
3. Forgive Everyone, In Advance
I can already forgive everything that has been done, and everything anyone COULD do to me, long before that day ever comes. So can you! It frees your heart from carrying around resentment, and it keeps your vibration high no matter what others choose to do.
What Forgiveness Is Not
Forgiving someone does not mean that what they did was ok, and it does not mean you have to keep letting them hurt you. You can forgive and still set healthy boundaries. Forgiveness is for your own heart. It lets you put down a heavy load so you can move forward in peace. If you are dealing with difficult people, my post on toxic relationships may help.
Forgiveness Brings Freedom
Scripture teaches, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14). Forgiveness opens the door for us to be forgiven too. When we decide now, ahead of time, we do not have to wait for an apology or for the hurt to fade. We get to live free and light right now, today.
So make the choice today, right where you are. Forgive yourself, forgive the people you love, and forgive everything that is still to come. Forgiveness is NOW.
Blessings,
Leticia
