“Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me”
Every person is put into our path for a purpose.
To teach us something, show us another way, a lesson to be learned or a reminder. The reflections of others are one of our greatest teachers. There are people put into our lives that mirror back to us that part of ourselves that needs attention.
If you are seeing something ugly in another, you must literally point the finger back at yourself.
How you see those around you shows you what is inside of you. Paying attention to our perceptions, and applying what we see not to them, but to us, can shine light in places we never have seen before.
Are you seeing darkness or light in others?
Someone once told me, the highest form of discernment, is discerning the light in everyone around you. We all came from the same place and have the same light. And we are all going back to that same place.
You can train your mind to see the good in everyone around you.
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” -Robertson Davies
Everything happens for a reason, I do not believe in accidents. These people are put into your life by a higher source for your good. Then it is how you react to that mirror that shows how much you are aware of yourself, for they are only reflecting you. Be aware of the things they are triggering inside of you, so that you can then apply that to yourself. They are there to help you learn about and better yourself.
Do not try and change them, that is not your job. They are perfect the way they are, just like you are perfect the way you are. Be aware of how you are viewing those around you. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. As you see others through a new lens, they will change only because you have changed. And those “triggers” that they push will leave.
Why We See Ourselves in Others
Psychology has a name for this too. Carl Jung called it projection: we tend to see in other people the parts of ourselves we have not faced yet. That is why the same behavior can drive one person crazy and not bother another person at all. What we notice in others says just as much about us as it does about them.
3 Ways to Use the Reflections of Others to Grow
- Notice the trigger. When someone bugs you, pause before you react. Ask yourself, “What is this showing me about me?” The stronger the reaction, the bigger the lesson.
- Turn it around. Look for the same quality in yourself, even in a small way. Maybe it shows up differently, or maybe it is something you are afraid of becoming. Be honest and gentle with yourself.
- Look for the light. Practice finding one good thing in every person you meet, especially the hard ones. The more you train your eyes to see light in others, the more light you will see in yourself.
The reflections of others are a gift. They show us the parts of ourselves we could never see on our own. When we stop trying to fix the mirror and start working on ourselves, everything around us starts to shift. For more on seeing both sides of yourself, read Darkness Is Not Evil.
“I am not what you think I am, you are what you think I am”
