“As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be, you can’t see how it is” –Ram Dass
I believe this with all my heart! The glasses we wear and see the world through makes a big difference. One thing I have learned is that there are no “should” or “shouldn’t” in life. When we have so many expectations of this world and the people in it, we end up living a frustrated life.
There is another pair of glasses you can wear, let me share a story with you. I captured this picture during our summer camping trip.
I had just gave all the kids a bath and not 5 minutes later my youngest comes up to me looking like this….. for real?
- If instead while I was giving them a bath, I braced myself and knew that the probable outcome would be: that they would run off and play again and it would be very likely that they would get dirty again.
THEN WHEN IT HAPPENED I WOULD NOT BE FRUSTRATED.
With no expectations I would be able to laugh about it and take a picture to remember the memory.
When we expect things to be a certain way, we are assuming that “our way” we see it would be the best way.
Most of the time we end up missing something of a better, something that we did not know was possible.
Especially when we have expectations about others we will often be let down, people are people and full of weaknesses.
But if we let life flow and let people be people, we wont have so many frustrations.
When we build a picture in our head of how something SHOULD be we will always be let down. Then when it does not turn out that way we are then left frustrated and angry.
Let life be as it is, let it flow.
Be open and honest about what you desire and need, then give suggestions but do not have a set thing in your mind.
Here are some of the expectations I have had or others have said to me:
- Do not expect a gift for your birthday when you have told no one it was you birthday.
- Do not expect your husband to take out the garbage.
- Do not expect your marriage to be this grand picture in your head of perfection.
- Do not have a picture of how someone should treat you. No one lives by your “rules” and the way you live life.
- Stop expecting that your friend has the same definition of loyalty that you do.
- Do not expect your child to stay clean while you are camping.
- Do not expect your husband to fight for your marriage when you tell him you want a divorce.
- Do not expect a thank you, and you then wont be upset when it does not come. Then you will be grateful when they do.
- Do not expect anyone else to fill up the toilet paper roll or replace the empty tube of toothpaste.
The list can go on and on right?! If you look at your life and realize how much we expect things “to just be the way we think it should be” it is probably laced through our whole day.
No wonder most of us are frustrated all the time with a life full of drama, we live life full of expectations that bring us frustration.
Life is a journey, speak up for yourself be honest in what you need and then apply the mantra “if you want something done, do it yourself”. Change up your glasses and maybe the frustrations life hands you will ease up and be less.